Why is it that when we know what’s good for us too often we deny ourselves the very things that are essential for our well-being?

That was me several years ago, I was in complete denial. My life was work, I was either at work, thinking about work or worrying about work. I told myself a daily headache was normal, no need to bother a doctor as I had access to over-the-counter pain relief.

Sleep didn’t offer me an escape either, my dreams were filled with work scenarios my mind wanted to re-enact for different outcomes. Along with the headaches I had constant pain down my neck and shoulders, it got so bad one day I couldn’t move my head. The muscles in my neck had seized up whilst sat at my desk. Resigned to the fact I couldn’t continue working, I left the office in search of a masseuse and then later a chiropractor to help release me!

I’d regularly skip lunch or just eat something quick in between meetings, I even denied myself toilet breaks. Choosing to fidget in my chair and keep my productivity going instead of relieving myself. That’ll be my Virgo Sun conjunct Saturn, plus my moon in the 6th house!

I was depleting myself physically and mentally having completely neglected my basic self-care needs and for what? Recognition, respect, a promotion? But in treating myself so poorly I’d also lost myself along the way. Skip forward to today and my outlook and attitude couldn’t be more different. Ensuring my self-care needs are met is the framework for my day. To get here however, took uncomfortable self-reflection and realisation along with a major life decision to make the shift possible.

Self-care is about making conscious decisions, acknowledging our own needs, and actively putting them at the forefront of our minds. It’s about creating small rituals in our daily life and committing to living consciously, mindfully and with meaning.

“ As soon as you honour the present moment, all unhappiness and struggle dissolve, and life begins with joy and ease. When you act out of the present moment awareness, whatever you do becomes imbued with a sense of quality, care, and love – even the most simple action.” Eckhart Tolle 

When we reflect on self-care there are things we can do for ourselves which benefit us today and decisions with advantages that build over time. Here are some of the things I’ve incorporated into my self-care ritual, along with other impactful examples.

Immediate results

Longer-term results

Sleep! It’s recommended we need between 6-8 hours each night Clean bedsheets, why does this feel like such a treat?! Take a warm bath. If you can try adding bubbles, scents and salts it’ll feel more of a treat Conversely, take a cold shower. Start with 30 seconds and build to two minutes. You’ll never feel more alive! Use a tongue scrapper every morning to remove toxins collected in your mouth overnight (you still need to brush your teeth) Mel Robbins life coach and best-selling author taught me this one, when you feel depleted and a bit lost high-five yourself in the mirror each morning, smile and tell yourself out loud or mentally “I love you and I’ve got you.” Move your body, do what feels good. Aim for 30 minutes of moderate exercise daily. At the very least enjoy a good stretch when you get out of bed. Orgasm, it aids sleep, relieves pain, keeps us looking younger, live longer…do I need to go on?! Journal, make sense of your thoughts by writing them down Listen to music that moves you, both physically and emotionally Dance like nobody’s watching Sing, it lift your mood and helps open your throat chakra too Go for a massage Give someone you love a big hug and tell them how much they mean to you Smile at a stranger and see the positive impact you may have on them Pay a compliment Walk, ideally in nature Meditate Smell things that make you happy, grind coffee beans, peal an orange, bake, light your favourite scented candle Spring clean your home; in Feng Shui it’s said a cluttered home is a cluttered mind and will keep you stuck in life.

Go to bed at approximately the same time every night to help regulate your circadian rhythm which improves your overall health. Set an intention or intentions for your day (1-3 is perfect and achievable) acknowledge once accomplished, and feel good about yourself Eat a diverse range of foods, and listen to what works for your digestion and body. Eat foods that support your gut microbiome and if you can afford to buy organic Commit to an exercise plan that works for you, interspersed with cardio and strength training Keep a diary, it’s a lovely way to track your life’s progress Nurture your relationships, let those you care about know how much they mean to you Learn a new skill, it builds new neural pathways and keeps the brain active Invest in therapy in whichever form works best for you – talk, somatic, energetic etc. Take your annual leave, go on holidays and retreats Make long-term plans, and have things you’re working towards and can look forward to. If your lifestyle suits and you can commit get a cat or dog. As well as being loving, loyal companions stroking an animal for just ten minutes a day has been proven to reduce stress and depression.

Clues on where to look for your self-care clues in the charts?

1. In Astrology the moon represents your needs, emotional and physical. Look to its sign, house and any aspects to uncover exactly how you need to take care of yourself.
2. Given your sun is your truest essence it would be amiss not to consider its sign and house placement alongside your moon.
3. Do you know how you like to be pampered and treated? Your Venus will reveal all, again sign, house and aspects hold the clues.
4. Your fourth house shows you how you retreat from the world, it’s the house of home and family life, it also represents our mother.
5. The fifth house is how we like to express ourselves creatively. It also gives you clues about your romantic and sexual needs. Look to the sign, how its ruling planet fairs in the chart and any planets that are positioned in the 5^th along with aspects.
6. The sixth house will tell you all about your regime, health and dietary needs.
7. The seventh house is the house of partnerships and marriage, its condition will reveal what you need from your close relationships.
8. Finally, the twelfth represents your spirituality and solitude, it’s a very healing house too and can reveal aspects about yourself you may not consciously be aware off.
9. In Human Design self-care is about living in alignment with your Type, Strategy and Authority. Once you are able to trust and embody them resistance starts to fall away and life will begin to flow for you.
10. If you’d like to go deeper, order a report and a 1:1 session and together we can discover how you were designed and I will guide you on how to live optimally and in alignment with your cosmic charts.

Final thought…

I share my experiences in the sincere hope they act as a gentle reminder to prioritise your own needs and listen to the signals your body is trying to make you aware of. Self-care doesn’t have to cost anything either. It can be small adjustments to daily decisions we all make but with your needs always prioritised.

Image credit Hanna Postova-Oha